Zyvox (Linezolid)
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FIRST SYMPTOMS OF BEREAVEMENT
While mild anger and self-blame are not unusual symptoms of bereavement, when these emotions are intense or overshadow all others, they may be a sign of pathology. Psychologists James Breckenridge, Dolores Gallagher, Larry Thompson, and James Peterson interviewed 196 older men and women two months after their spouses died. The participants in this study of early bereavement were mainly well educated, middle class, and long married, having been wed an average of thirty-seven years.
Only 25 percent reported feeling guilty; fewer than 10 percent felt intensely angry at anyone. The most frequent symptoms people did have were continual crying, extreme sadness, and problems with sleeping and eating.
According to the researchers, the absence of intense anger and self-blame may differentiate mourning that is normal from mourning that is pathological – in which the widowed person is developing a clinical depression that needs treatment. People suffering from depression usually feel “terrible about myself and the world.” These emotions, when present to a marked degree in a new widow or widower, suggest that mourning is not progressing normally – that the widowed person is becoming depressed and may need psychological help. Among the many influences that may predispose people to develop this type of pathological bereavement response, here are a few possibilities.
Excessive experiences with death. In some ways, previous deaths of loved ones should help us cope with widowhood. We know what it feels like to mourn; we know we have handled things in the past. However, too many losses may create a kind of emotional overload, depleting us psychologically and making adjusting to the present loss more difficult.
Emotional immaturity. Not only are poorly adjusted people less able to handle stress, our past reactions to stressful events may offer clues to the way we will deal with widowhood. Are you good at handling the worst When devastating things happened before, what exactly did you do You can get some idea of how you will react to this loss by looking at how you reacted to tragic events in the past.
An untimely death. A loss that seems particularly unfair causes special pain. If your husband dies right after the retirement he slaved for, your grief is likely to be more intense than if he dies in his nineties after living for years in a nursing home. If your marriage was just beginning to click, being widowed may be more difficult to bear than if you had fifty wonderful years.
The quality of your marriage. Not all marriages are the same. How strongly being widowed affects us is related to the strength of our attachment to what is lost. However, having had an excellent marriage may actually make recovery easier. In studying a large group of widows and widowers (granted, under age forty-six) during the first year of bereavement, Harvard University psychiatrists found that people with unhealthy marriages – those who were extremely dependent on their spouses and those who were often on the verge of divorce – were at higher risk of suffering severe, unremitting bereavement responses.
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