In the movies, as the waves rush over the embracing couple, they kiss passionately, limbs entwined. How romantic to be swept away by unplanned passion! Many people think that the best land of sex is experienced when one is swept away in the moment and that talking with a partner before sex about condom use and STDs will somehow rob the event of its magic. Others may deliberately choose to be unprepared, because they won’t feel guilty if they believe that they have no control over whether or not they have intercourse: “I didn’t plan it, so I’m not a bad person.” But in real life people can contract sexually transmitted infections, or become pregnant, by not thinking before they have sex.
Planned sex can be every bit as good as unplanned sexeven better. For one thing, knowing for certain about sexually transmitted infections lets your relationship move ahead without any nagging doubts. For another, being honest with a partner, and sharing your thoughts and concerns, often leads to a closer relationship and is the first step toward real intimacy.
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